


Kibbleh

by NihilismBot



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgy, Sexual Humor, Sticky Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-08-22 14:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 9,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16599569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NihilismBot/pseuds/NihilismBot
Summary: A collection of badfics. Now they can all be together and awful





	1. Dinobot Orgy

OKAY! Grimlock has his mouth on Swoop’s valve and he’s spiking Snarl. Swoop is having his valve licked by Grimlock and he’s sucking Sludge’s spike. Sludge is having hios spike sucked by Swoop and he’s, uh… That’s it. That’s all he’s doing. Snarl is being spiked by Grimlock while spiking Slug.

Grimlock, Swoop, Snarl, Slug, Sludge… 

Strafe is watching and cheering them on but not participating….

Grimlock, Swoop, Snarl, Slug, Sludge, Strafe uh…

Slash is in a different house and not participating.

Grimlock, Swoop, Snarl, Slug, Sludge, Strafe, Slash… that’s all of them I think.

OKAY! The five in the orgy do not change positions ever so I never have to describe the scene again and they just gyrate and grind in place until they all come. Then they sleep in a giant puddle. 

Strafe hoses them down. 


	2. Perceptor/Brainstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brainstorm is into Pokemon

“It’s so easy,” said Brainstorm to PErceptor. “See, Charmander is a fire type so he’s weak to water but strong to grass. Now, Squirlte is a water type, so he’s strong to fire but weak to grass. Then you have bulbasaur who’s a grass type, so he’s strong to water but weak to fire! Now, which ever pokemon you pick as your starter, Gary is going to pick the one he’s weak against. So, if you pick bulbasaur, he’ll pick charmander and if you pick squirtle, he’ll pick?” Brainstorm prompted Perceprot for an answer.

Perceptor bit his lower lip. Primus, this pokemon talk was sexy. “Bulbasaur, right?”

“Exactly!” Brainsotrm beamed. “You’re so hot when you say the names of pokemon…”

Perceptor smirked, “Cum (A/N: lol) over here and I’ll say a few more.” He winked.

Brainstorm sauntered over and sat in Perceptor’s lap, careful to not smakc him with his wing. “Can you name an electric type?” he purred.

This was easy. “Pikachu.” Perceptr ran his hand up Brainstorm’s thigh.

Brainstorem moaned. “And what is electric weak to?”

Perceptor traced the curves of Brainstyorm’s panel. “Ground. Like diglet.”

“Yeah,” Brainstorm panted. He slid his cover aside and let Prectpor play directly with his valve flds. “What is ground weak to?”

Perceptor slid his fingers into Brainstorm’s valve, enjoying the feeling of his lubricants dripping into his hand. “Water.”

Brainstorm tried to control his breathing. “R-right. Name a- Oh! Name a water type.”

“Gyrados.” Perceptor whispered against Brainstorm’s aduial.

Brainstorm clutched at Perceptor’s shoulder. “Wh-wh-what’s gyrados’ other type?”

And then, Perceptor made a huge mistake. “Dragon.”

“What did you say?” Brainstorm seemed to have regained all his composure.

“Dragon, right? He’s a water/dragon type.” Perceptor was confused. Gyrados certainly  **looked**  like a dragon type!

“He’s water/ **flying**!” Brainstorm hissed.

Perceptor felt all the fluids which had dripped on to his arm suddenly be sucked back into Brainstorm’s valve. Brainstorm’s interface panel closed with a loud  **snap!**  He stood up and walked to the door. 

Brainstorm cried as he ran out of the lab. “Don’t talk to me until you’ve read bulbapedia!”


	3. Sentinel Prime/Mistress of Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on real events

Sentinel Prime had remembered to change the sheets, so he KNEW he would get sex! That was the only reason he even changed those sheets! Changing sheets was WOMEN’S WORK after all! But Mistress said that she would do a sex if he changed the sheets.

Mistress came into their bedroom. She yawned. “I think I’ll head to bed,” she said.

“But Mistress, I changed the sheets,” Sentinel said with a low voice.

She turned to look at the bed. Well, the sheets didn’t match each other and he forgot her fifty throw pillows, but they were changed. She groaned internally. “Then it is time for sex.”

Sentinel squealed with joy. His modesty plate popped right off and his spike stood at attention. “Can we do missionary?”

They ALWAYS did missionary.

“Yeah, let me just get my phone…” Mistress took out her smart phone as she got on the bed. She lay on her back and stared at the glowing screen. “Ready.”

Sentinel excitedly put his spike in her valve. “Feel that? That’s how much I want you.”

Mistress hummed. “Yep.”

Sentinel thrust into her at a slow pace. “I was thinking of this all day,” he purred.

“Mmhmm,” Mistress scrolled on her phone.

He rocked his hips faster. “Oh Mistress! I’m so close.”

“Really?” she looked at him incredulously.

“You’re just so hot…I- UHG!” and Sentinel came hard. He panted hard as he collapsed on top of Mistress, who adjusted herself so she could still look at her phone.

“Oh Mistress…” Sentinel panted, “Did you come too?”

“Absolutely,” she said.

“I love you, Mistress.”

“Yep.”


	4. Tarn/Pharma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pharma is not a good doctor.

“Doctor! I seem to have a problem!” said Tarn lustitly

“What is the problem?” said Pharma with profession.

“Oooooh! Doctor! There’s something wrong with my WET DRIPPING HOT VALVE!” said Tarn

Pharma made a “hmm” “That sounds seriously” he nodded in professional. “I will have to take your temperature. I will have to use my SPECIAL THERMOMETER!”

Pharma took out his “special thermometer.” It was his spike. His spike was not a thermometer. Pharma is not a good doctor.

OHoHOOHOO!!!” moaned Tarn. “DOCTOR! That thermometer is so BIG! Will it FIT in my mouth?!”

It wasn’t a thermometer, it was a spike. Tarn is a dumbass.

Pharma smirked. “It’s not going in your MOUTH.” said Pharma with PHarma. “It’s going in yhour WET HOT DRIPPING VALVE TIGHT!”

Pharma put his spike (Not a thermometer!) into Tarn’s valve. 

“Oh dear! HYour valve is so TIGHT! I will have to STRETCH IT WITH MY  ~~SPIKE~~ THERMOMETER”

“BE GENTLE! DOCTOR!” said Tarn

Pharma thrust with his spike and Tarn moaned with his voice and Pharma wads like “OHM YES!” and Tarn went “WEOOHOO!” and then Pharma smlortched his transfluid in Tarn’s valve.

“Doctor! What was THAAAAaaaSAATR?!” asked Tarn

“Magiucal healing serum!” said Pharma.

Pharma will be sued for malpractice if he keeps this shit up.

Tarn moad long and loud. “My valve feel Ssosososossoo much better now! Thank you doctor!”

“Then my work is done!” sayd Pharma

And Pharma left before making Tarn finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those concerned, Tarn is in on the role play, but the narrator is not. Pharma is still a selfish and bad lover.


	5. Grimlock/Misfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misfire had ONE job

“Krok told me to go get snacks. But I just wanna fuck my dinosaur boyfriend” said Misfire. 

“Yeah. Same. Thouygh not my dinosuar boyfriend but my jet boyfriend” said Grimlock

“If I blow you at the convenience store, that’s the same as getting snacks, right?” said Misfire?

Grimlock thought and decidd he wanted head “Yes, absolutely”

So Misfire ate the $20 USD bill that Krok gave him to buy snacks for the whole ship and then he held Grimlocks hand as they went to the conenience store for some convenient sex.

They went to the seculded corner of the store and Grimlock dropped trow and Misfire said “why are you even wearing pants?”

and Grim lock said “I dunno, but they were uncomfortable so I took them off” then he opened his panels and his spike was like HUGE! Picture a big thing? It was like that!

Misfire licked his lips and then licked Grimlock;’s lips and then licked the clerk’s lips and then went to lick the spike. He schlorped down that mighty spike witrh his dyson-strength sucction mouth. (

(A/N: This fic is sponsored by Dyson. Please buy their fine vacuums. Dyson: Enough suction power to jerk off a t-rex)

Grimlock groaned and camed and splortched and there was so many fluids all over the store. Misfire, using his quick thinking, knocked over some milk cartons so make it look like an accident. 

Ther clerk wasn’t foold

The WAP got no snacks.

BAD END


	6. Rodimus/Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was "accidental voyeurism" but I did "indifferent exhibitionism" because I don't follow the rules

All the bots were dancing at the club to the latest of club hits. Hits from contemporary bands and singers like The Beach Boys and Stevie Wonder. Just all the latest hits. 

Drift anf Rodimus were dancing together to the sensual sounds of “Surfin’ USA” and dancing slow nnd sexy together. Other bots looked at them and were like “oh wow, this is very sexy the way they deance:” Some of the bots had boners but some of them didn’t/ The bots that didn’t were FOOLS AND COWARDS.

Then Drift rubbed his FAT ASS against Rodimus and Rodimus was like “OOOHooh!! Wooahh!!! BACKTHAT THING UP!” and Drift did back that thing up and he backed it up ointo Rodimus’ groiun which is where he kept his spike.

“Stick tyour spike into my valvce right now!” said Drift!”

But Rodimus was like “There’s so many of the people!”

And Drift said “Pffft. As though they’ll notice!”

And Rodimus said “You’re right!” not because he thoguth they wouldn’t notice but because he didn’t actually care. So he snapped open his panels and his dick when SPROIMNF and it ented Drift’s valve with a SLORP and they did the sexy fuck

Some bots thought they were still just horny dancing. Some boyts knew. But like, who was gonna stop them? Magnus?Magnus wasn’t about to toucjh this!

So they do a sex and Drift says “OOOOO!!! You’re gonna have to come INSIRE me!” and Rodimus says “:FRAG YEAH!” and he BLOWS HIS LOAD

Drift closes his panels so no fluids leak places except the fluids have leaked places. And Bluestreak has to clean them because they are a trip hazard.


	7. Starscream/Bumblebee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bumblebee is goast and cannot touch Starscream

“Star, you knbow how I’m a ghoast?”

“Yes Bee,” said Star, “You keep reminding me.”

“I can’t kiss you or hug you or fuck your brains out BUT!!! I learned I can possess objects!!!”

“OooHH!!! Are you gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?” asked Starscream exctied

Bumblbe giggled mischeiveously “I’m gomma put buckets of water on top of every door.”

Starscream frowned. “That prank is lame :\”

And Starscream was riught, that prank was lame. They debated on better pranlks then Starscream said, “Look, I’m tired and horny. I’m just goona masturbate then sleep. We’ll think up pranks in the morning”

“WAIT!!!” Bee waved his arms “I CAN HELP YOU MASTURBATE!”

“But how? :O” said Starscream

“I will possess the vibrator and buzz on your node”

“Is that a bee pun?”

“BUZZ BUZZ BABYE!!!” 

Starscrem lied on his back with hsi legs spread readxy to received his honey bee of lover. He heard the telltale sound a his favorite vibrator vibrating way too loudly and indiscretely. 

Bee rubbed that toy all over and in Starscream’s valve. “YOU MLIKE THSI!?” purred Bee

“IT”S PRETTY OKAY!” said Starscream

“GOOD TO KNOW! I DON’T HAVE MUCH EXPERIENCE!”

“YOU’RE DOING VERY WELL FOR YOUR FIRST TIME!”

“THANK YOU I APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENT ESPECIALLY COMING FROM YOU”

“NOT A PROBLEM, YOU’RE THE ONE DOING THE WORK”

“YOU LOOK VERY GOOD LIKE THIS”

“THANK YOU, I WORK HARD ON MY FRAME-OH!”

“WHAT IS IT?”

“I’M GOING TO OVERLOAD!”

“YEAH! GO FOR IT!”

Then Starscreame overloaded and it was satisfactory. “What can I do for you, Bee?” he asked

“I DON’T HAVE A DICK”

said Bumblebee.


	8. Riptide/Pipes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day!

“RIPTIDE! I FINALLY WIDENED MY ASS!” said Pipes. “YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?”

Riptide vibrated with excitement “tODAY IS MOVIE NIGHT?”

And that was absolutely what it meant because Pipes had said he would get his ass widened on movie night.

Pipes and Riptide enjoyed some good movies and snuggled and then Riptide said “Wait, if your ass is wider, can you take both of my MASSIVE COKES?”

And Pipes was like “OH? Maybe? I didn’t really think about that. Let’s find out!”

They foreplay and no one cares let’s get to the meat going into other meat.

Pipes is all bent over and ready with his newly widened after up and his face down and he’s just “YES RIPTIDE FILL ME WITH YOUR LKOVE NECTAR!”

And Riptide is “My what”

“Your love juice? Man mayonaise? Baby sauce?”

“I have no idea what you’re saying but I;m going soft.”

“FILL ME WITH YOUR TRANSFLUID!”

And Riptide PLUNGES HIS COCKS INTO PIPES’ TIGHT HOT LITTLE WET BURNING SLICK VALVE AND IT’S GREAT AND PIPES HAS NEVER B EEN SO FILLED

“I’VE NEVER BEEN SO FILLED!” said Pipes calmly

But then Tiptide SPLNGES AND FILLS PIPE’S VALVE WITH MORE STUFF

Truly now has Pipe’s never been so filled.

It’s like that yicky image of the leaking rubber duck

You know the one.

They high five and sleep


	9. Roller/Tailgate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is fisting in this chapter

“Listen, Tailgate, I need you to fist my valve. It’s important.”

“Why is it so important?” asked Tailgate with curious

“I saw you punch the face off a decepticon and my valve is SO WET and I need SOMETHING in it and that SOMETHING is your FIST” explained Roller helpfully.

Tailgate was worried. Wouldn’t his super strength hurt Roller? “I’m worried, ym super strength could hurt you. What if I fist you into the next room.”

Roller moaned “Primus I HOPE you fist me into the next room. Just fuck me up, little dude.”

So Tailgate bridal style carried Roller into Roller’s room and gentle lay him on a bed of flower petals. “Y’all ready for this?” asked Tailgate

Roller, who was already wet, was not EVEN MORE WET because he FUCKING LOVES JOCK JAMS and hearing Tailgate sing along to his favorite song was jsut fdjushfkjgbhkjbdfgjhl SO GOOD!

Tailgate splortched his fist into Roller’s valve and Roller was like “Oh, this isn’t as good as I was thinking, what a shame.”

So Tailgate felt bad but he was DETERMINED TO MAKE THIS LARGE BOT SQUIRT! so he SPLARTCHED HIS FIST AND KDSFNJBGEJBGE SO GOOD FISTING YES

Roller was all moaning like “Yeah, that’s better. Not the greatest, but not bad. Thanks.”

And TailGATE ADDED MORE FIST AND DOUBLE FISTING AND NOW ROLLER WAS WAY THE HECK YESSING BECAUSE SO GOOD!!!

ROLLER CAME AND THERE WERE FLUIDS EVERYWHERE ALL OVER

“Thanks. Want me to return the favor?” Roller waggled his eyebrows that he found and glues on to his head

Tailgate wiped some of the juices off his arm. “Nah, I’m gonna shower.”


	10. Grimlock/Misfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krok always has his trust spray bottle near by

The Scavengers were playing strip Jenga™ which wasn’t working well since they didn’t have much to strip so like Fulcrum didn’t have his goggles and they Misfire, Fulcrum, and Crankcase had their panels open but none of them where aroused so spikes were still in their casing and valve lips were just kinda there. 

“This game sucks!” shouted Misfire. “I was only playing because I wanted to see Grimlock’s nasty thing. Now I just know what Fulcrum and Crankcase’s junk looks like!”

Grimlock gave Misfire a look. “You could have just asked. Here, I’ll open now.” And Grimlock opened his panels and there was his unpressurized spike and dry valve lips. Nice.

Misfire’s spike shot up “YES! LET’S DO THIS!” 

Misfire jumped on Grimlock and knocked him to the couch

Then Krok got the spray bottle and spritzed them. “Hey! Not on the couch unless you’re going to clean!”

Misfire wasn’t going to clean so they went to Misfire’s room with his gross crunchy sheets.

Misfire got on all fours and presented his aft. “LET’S GO!!!”

Grimlock knelt on the bed and the sheets crunched and he was disgusted and said “Yeah, no. My room?”

Misfire groaned bu they went to Grim’s room and then Misfire got on his back and said “DO ME PLEASE! DO ME HARD!”

“WHATEVER YOU SAY, HONEY!” said Grimlock and he put his thingy in Misfire’s you-know-what and they did a sex and it was pretty okay. All parties were satisfied.

“Thank you, that was nice.” said Misfire

The cuddled and slept.


	11. Megatron/Optimus Prime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains subtle language

MEgatron and Optimus were in the before the war times and Megatron was being a HUGE POETRY NERD. He was such a HUGE NERD he forced his bff (and secret crush, don’t tell lol) Optimus to go to his poetry reading.

“This poem is called ‘I Want Orion Pax to Frag My Aft’“ spoke Megatron with poetic

_I hope someday_

_Orion Pax sees how horny I am for his spike_

_Specifically his spike in my valve_

_That would be groovy_

_His spike could go inside my valve_

_Then outside my valve_

_Then inside again_

_I would enjoy that a great deal_

_Someday_

_Orion Pax will hold me in his giant arms_

_And frag me against a wall_

_Frag my aft_

_Orion Pax_

After reading his poem, Megatron stepped off the stage and walked to Orion Pax. “What did you think of my poem, OP?”

Orion Pax was flexing his JOCK MUSCLES “Oh, uh, I didn’t get it.”

Megatron frowned.

Orion felt bad so he then said “I liked the imagery and use of metaphor”

Then cheered up Megatron.

Perhaps one day, Orion Pax would pick up on his subtle hints.


	12. Riptide/Pipes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There must be some way to make this work.

So Riptide was just “Man, I coukld go for a dick sucking right abiout now”

And Pipe swas “I could suck a dick right about now!”

And they looks at each other and like “wait, this could work?”

So after an hour of discussion for how to make their wants line up, they decided Pipies should suck Riptode’s duck. 

Both of them

And Pipes is really good with the sucking dick 1 while hge strokes dick 2 and the sucking dick 2 while stroking dick 1. Riptide is flailing his head and oh, shit it all feels good and he;s gonnd come!

But then Pipes is “can I put one of your dicks in my valve”

And Riptiude is pretty chill about that,

So Pipes is riding Riptide and he’s rubbing their spikes together and they’re both “dfsnjkhblhwvg” becuase it all feels goodf

“COME INSIDE AND ALSO OUTSIDE ME!” said Pipes

And Riptide kerpslooshed on and in Pipes and Pipes pffrrt on Riptide

“Want me to suck yourt dick some time” said Riptide.

Pipes looked at Riptide’s shark teeth and said, “No.”


	13. Ten/Minimus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten

“Ten?” Ten said with sexy voice

Minimus had contained his lust for long enough. “Ten” he responded. He was ready. Ready for them to smash their genitalia trogether.

They went back to Minimus’ room.

“Don;t mess anything up, I’m very particular about the order.” said Minimus

So they went to Ten’s room instead.

“Ten,” said Ten with Ten voice.

Ten immeditaly snapped his panel to the zide. He was ready for this.

Ten’s spike was like, ten inches long? Or two ten inches long? Or maybe that’s not long enough. The point is he was big by a measurement divisible by ten because he’s Ten!  HIS DICK WAS TOO BIG FOR MINIMUS!

“Your dick is too big for me!” said Minimus.

“Ten?” said Ten.

Ten lifted Minimus and like AITE HIM OUT! TONGUE EVERYWHERE! THE EBST!

“OHHHH MMMM!!! GNNGN!” dsaid Minimus with pleasure in voice.

Minimus cme all over Ten and Ten just “Ten.”

“I still would rather not have you stick you spike in my me” said Minimus

“Ten” said Ten

Minimus gave him SUBPAR head and and OKAY handjob

Really, Ten was tempted to take over because it was so mediocre! But he endured! And finaly came!

His fluids his Minimus’ chest and some people were into that but I just sat there like “yick”

“I love tyou, Ten” said Minimus

“Ten” Ten said with ten.


	14. Whirl/First Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST

First Aid was in heat. Which was find since he was in a commited relationship with Whirl so like, no big deal, right?

So First Aid shows up to whatever the fuck job Whirl has on the Lost Light and is just “Hey Whirl, why not call off of work early? Wink.”

And Whirl can smell those good good heat smells so he knows whats up but he’s a dumbass so he’s “Oh, no you only want to interface with me because you feel obligated to o(” (A/N: o( is a cyclops sad face)

And First Aid is just “you’re being a stupit moran about this, you one-eyed monster. I want the one-eyed monster that’s behind your panel”

And Whirl still doesn’t believe him so First Aid goes to their shared suite and masturbates all over the room.

Whirl comes (lol) home and sees FA like humping the couch and Whirl is just “The fuck is this?”

First Aid says, “I need to fuck and you said no so I’,m humping furniture! You have a better idea?”

And Whirl has a better idea and the better idea is his spike.

So Whirl bends First Aid over the slippery couch and just FIUCSK him hard and First Aid is “SJBFBEWS” and Whirl is “?dhgij” because oh yeah, they’re so into it.

They both overload at the same time because that way I only have to describe iut once. It’;s good. Like electricity crackles and shit.

And no one gets pregant because that’s yicky. 

I love WhirlAid so much you guys.


	15. Thunderclash/Rodimus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thunderclash ain't all that

Rodimus was being angry because Thunderclash was perfect and also sexe. “Why does everyone act like Thunderclash is perfect when he ain’t shit?” said Rodimus.

Thunderclash heard him with his perfect hearing and immediately got an boner.

“I have to leave right now” he said to his adoring public. 

Thunderclash and his boner ran to his room where he could handle his boner in prvate.

“Ah yeah, call me a fuckface” said Thunderlash while he stroked his dick and thought of Rodimus.

Rodimus, who does not understand privacy, burst into his room. “You think of me berating you while you touch yourself? That’s fucked up.” said Rodimus

“Ack! I’m sorry!” said Thunderclash who closed his panels.

“No wait!” said Rodimus, “I was trying to give you more material to work with. Keep going, it’s super hot?”

“Oh, okay” said thunderclash and he touch him dik again.

“Your paint is bad. You have an inflated ego. You smell like one fish!” said Rodimus

“AHH~~~ NNN!! SO CLOSE!” said Thunerclash.

“Rodimus continued “I DON’;T LIEK YOU AND YOU AREN’T GREAT!”

Thunderclash ejactulated all over the room and on Rodimus.

“I’m sorry, but you do look good covered in my fluids” said Thunderclash

Rodimus immediately came from being complimated in any way.

There was silence

“We should date” said Rodimus

“This relationship is kinda fucked up” said Thunderclash

But I shipped it anyway.


	16. Drift/Ratchet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu

“Oh Drift-senpai, please be gentle” said Ratchet his giant aqua eyes shining in the light

“Of course, Ratchet-chan,” said Drift as he towered above Ratchet.

Dritst press their lips together and he noted how Ratchet tasted like mochi and pocky. Absolutely delicious.

Hje kissed a trail down from his lips to his jaw to his neck to hes chest to hgis tummy to his interface panel.

Ratchet pushed him away, “ No, Drift-senpai, that;’s dirty”

Drift gently kissed Ratchet-chan’s hand and then his panel again, “Let me make you feel good.” said Drift with lust voice.

Ratchet covered his mouth as he moaned while Drift kissed and licked his interface panel.

“Please open for me,” said Drift

Covering his facwe, Ratchet opened his panel to reveal his plump valve lips and swollen spike.

“Oh, Ratchet-chan, youi’re beautiful” said Drift.

“D-dnon’t look” said Ratchet embarased

Dift licked Ratchet’s valve lips and sucked his outer noide.

“Ah! Drift-senpai! I’m so close!” said Ratchet breathing heavily. “I’m going to explode! I’m so hot!”

“Just let go, Ratchet-chan,” said Drift with his mouth on Rathet’s node. “I’m here”

With a gasp, Ratchetr came, his fluid sliding over Drifts face.

“Oh, Ratchet-chan, you taste amazing” said Drift as he licked Ratchet clean. His fluids tasted like green tea

“Drift-senpai, that was amazing” panted Ratchet

“There’s more, do you think you can take it?” asked Drift who has his hand on his spike

Senpai!” gasped Ratchet “it’s so big!”

“Shh. I think you can take it.”

Drift gently lay Ratchet on the futon on parted Ratchet’s legs

“Are youi ready, Ratchet-chan?” asked Drifft with concern in hos voice

“If it’s with you, Drift-sentpai” said Ratchet

Slowly Drift stuck his spike in Rathet’s valve

“Oh! Ratchet you fewel amazing. So tgithgt on my spike.”

Ratchet blushed, “Don’t say soemthing so dirty!”

“Do I feel good inside you?” asked Droft

“Y-yes. It’s like yopur tearing me apart!!!”

Drift thrust into Ratchet and hit every good node. He then stroked Ratchet’s spike

“Aaah!!! It’s too much!!! I’m too hot!!!” said Ratchet.

Drifgt kissed Ratchet and said “I love you, don’t worry”

Ratchret clung to Drift as he overloadeded again. His fluid spiling on to Drift’s chest.

With a few more thrusts, Drift came into Ratchet. The fluid filling up Ratchet’s gut

“AAAAaaaAH!H!” said Ratchet

“OOHHhhMMM” said Drif

Then they fell asleep covered in each other’s fluids.

–

Ratchet looked at the story Drift had presented him with.

“So, did you like it?” asked Drift, an excited sparkle in his optic.

Ratchet pulled Drift into a tight embrace.

Then dunked him straight into the garbage.


	17. Ultra Magnus/Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodimus is late!

Magnus and Drift were waiting for Rodimus to show up for a meeting.

“He forgot, didn’t he?” said Drift

“Yeah, probs.” said Magnus

“You know what would make him angry? If we fucked on his desk.”

Magnus looked at Drift “I’d crush you”

Drift laughed “You misunderstood. Bend over anf ready your aft for my deceptidick”

“You’re what?”

“Sorry, that was hotter and made more sense when I was a decepticon it’s kinda weird now… Can we just move on and forget that?”

“Okay”

Magnus bent over the desk and was SO READY for this HOT DICKING

Drift began to sweat because he actually wasn’t prepared for how SEXY Magnus was and how IRRESISTABLE his BUSSY would be.

But his dick was prepared. If you know what I mean.

He was hard.

His dick was hard and he was ready to fuck

and Fuck he did. They fucked good and hard and scratched up Rodimus’s desk

“OPH!! DRIFT!! MY PINGY!!!”

“MAGNUS!!! MY PEENUS WEENUS!”

And they overloaded

Looking at the scratches on the desk, they realized they mad a map to the Knights of Cybertron with Magnus’ splooge marking where the knights were.


	18. Megatron/Optimus Prime

Optimus was a buff and powerful jock who liked to FUCK

Megatron was a timid nerd who had never even seen a spike

They were making out and Optimus said “yeah babe, you wanna go all the way?”

and Megatron blushed and said, “But I’ve never been with another mech”

“Don’t worry, I fuck like a champ, you’ll feel great.”

Megatron thought about this, “Yeak okay” he said.

First Optimus removed Megatron;’s panel then he just MUNCH SCRUNCHED SLURPED that ROBUSSY Megatron moaned and gripped Optimus’s helm and cried about how good everything felt.

MEGATRON SPILT HIS BEER FOR THE SECOND TIME WHAT THE FUCL!@?!?!?!

No, wait, he umm… Spilt his valve juices and Optimus licked them up and said he tasted good.

And like, maybe? We don’t really know what Robot spunk tastes like do we? What if it is delicious? What if it goes good on sandwiches?

Thruouighly licked, Optimus not plunged his spike into Meghatron’s tight valve

“OHOOHOHOHH!!! YOU FEEL SO GOOD!” saiid Optimuis

“OH OPTIMUS YOU’RE RIPPING ME APART!”

“Am I really? Shoot, I’ll calm down.”

“No, like, I meant that in a sexy way”

“Oh” so Optimus continued to fuck Megatron’s nerd valve

Then they came together

Then, just a few days later, they started a fucking war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please pour one out for my beer which tragically died in the making of this fic.


	19. Whirl/Cyclonus/Tailgate

Tailgate, Cyclonus, and Whirl all decided that they had to have sex.

“We might hurt him,” Cyclonus cautioned to Whirl

“You think I can’t be gentle? Fuck you!” said Whirl.

Tailgate laughed. “You think either of you is gonna get a piece of this?!” Tailgate said gesturing at his valve. “Bend over, bitches!”

Whirl eagerly bent over and even wiggled his aft. Cyclonus hesitated “Are you certain?”

“Did I fucking stutter?” said Tailgate with cussing.

Cylonus bent over next to Whirl and almost immediately felt Tailgate slide into him

“Dude, not fair,” said Whirl who had bent over first and therefore should have gotten dicked first.

“Don’t worry babycakes, I got something for you.” Tailgate put a MASSIVE DILDO in Whirl’s valve and fucked him with it while fucking Cyclonus with his spike.

“Hell yeah!!” said Whirl who was having a good time.

Cyclonus said nothing and was just grunting with pleasure because Tailgate’s dick was just SO GOOD

Then Tailgate switched to fucking Whirl and put a vibrator RIGHT on Cyclonus;s outer node and he was just ahegaoing all over the place with jizz

Whirl gripped at the covers of the bed that I guess they were on. “YEAH! FUCK ME SO GOOD!” he said with enthusiasm.

Tailgate pulled out and came on Whirl’s back then said some shit like “Yeah, you look so good marked up by me.”

And Whirl rolled his eye but it was kinda hot

Cyclonus was still all ahegao

To this day, if you listen hard, you can still hear Cyclonus ahegaoing.


	20. Megatron/Soundwave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave would never not pay attention during a meeting. This chapter is OOC 0/10

Soundwave was at a meeting and it was boring so he was drawing in the margins of his notebook

First it was Megatron’s head with hearts flying over it

Then it was Megatron FUCKING HIM HARD AGAINST THE WALL

Thjen it was hearts again

Soundwave then drew several concept sketches for Megatron’s spike. It had to be HUGE, but would it have Milnean ribbing? Yeah, probablky.

So now there were several drawings of Megatron’s spike in his notebook

Starscream looked over and said “WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING?

Soundwave was embarraased but it turned out that he was a rubbish artist and Starscream really could not tell what he was looking at.

“Snakes? Why are you drawing snakes?”

“Request: Shut your whore mouth” said Soundwave

Starscream was scandalized but he left.

Megatron walked over and looked at Soundwave’s notebook then grinned.

“See me later, Sounbdwave. I have something we should discuss.”

Megatron leaned in closer, “It’s my dick. We shou;ld discuss my dick”


	21. Nightbeat/Brainstorm

Brainstorm and Nightbeat were both horning but they weren’t sure if their relationshing was to the point that they could engage in a unit of sex

Nightbeat opened his panels and said, “You wanna?”

Brainstorm said “OH PIT YEAH!” (he didn;t say “hell” because they are robots) and opened his panels

Nightbeat took one look at that puss and said “OH PIT YHEAH!” (he didnt say “hell” because he is a robot) then he burried his face in that pussy!!!!

For someone who had NEVER had even one (1) sex before, Nightbeat was like, SUPER GOOD at eating pussy.

Brainstorm was biting down on his knucle and like denting the plating and just moaning everywhere

Then Brainstorm came ALL OVER Nightb eats’ face and Nightbeat choked a little on the sudden GUSH of fluids in his mouth

“DUDE! WARNING!” said Nightbeat!

“SORRY!@ I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU BUY RIGHIDING YOUR COCK!”

Brainstom pushed Nightbeat to the floor and RIDE EM COWBOY YEEHAW!

Like, Brainstorm even had the ten gallon hat all ready for the occasion. He truly is the ship’s genius.

Nightbeat overloaded3ed HARD and the force lifted Brainstorm up a bit. Holy shit.

“That does make up for almost drowning me!”

“I’m gklad”

They kissed anmd held hands and fell asleep right there on the floor of the hallway and people had to step over the,m.


	22. Perceptor/Brainstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just saying, why give Brainstorm a mouth if it's not to suck dick?

Brainstorm was sucking on a popsicle trying to subtly suggest to Perceptor that he wanted to suck his spike.

When that didn’t work, Brainstorm got on his knees between Perceptor’s knees and said, “OPEN UYP, I GOTTA SUCK!”

And Like, it was so seductive that Perceptor opened up his panels right then with a really hot, “Open your mouth and close your eyes bhecause here comes a big surprised”

Somehow, Brainstorm managed to not just EJACULATE right then and there. Because he was focused on the head he was givng Perceptor’s. His glossa was all allallllluujualall and his cheeks were… nothing he doesn’t fucking having cheeks

Perceptor was just :D :D :D because Brainstorm was really good at sucking spike even though he had no cheeks so he couldn’t actually suck?

Licking spike, what the fuck ever.

“I’m gonna coat your throat with my cum,” said Perceptor which was kinda gross.

“MMFFRRMM!!!” said Brtainstorm who had a dick in his mouth.

Perceptor’ fufilled his promised and shot his load all over Brainstorm’s insides. Which is still kiunda gross.

“But what about you and your dick?” said Perceptor

“I came already because I love you so much” says Brainstorm’s

There was a slick puddle on the floore where Brainstorm had camesd.

Brainstorm had to clean as punishment for demanding sex right then.


	23. Megatron/Optimus Prime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liek if u cri every tiem

Optimus and Megatron were in the heat of battle and also just in heat

“OPTIMUS! WE NEED TO STOP FIGHTING SO I CAN DEAL WITH THIS BONBERT!” said Megatron

“HOW ABOUT I DEAL WITH YOUR BONER BY ALSO DEALING WITH MY BONER!” said Optimus

“ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE HAVBE SEX?” said Megatron

“I AM SUGGESTING I FRAG YOU INTO THE FLOOR!” said Optimus

So Optimus removed his interface panel and then removed Megatron’s interface panel and then they touched their interface panels together

“OH!!! FIUSD!!! I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIOS!! I’M SO HORNY!” said Megatron.

Opotimuis then put his spike in Megatron’s valve and they made gentle love while grunting.

“HARDER!~ BREAK MY BACK WITH YOUR MIGHT! SPLIT ME OPEN!”: said Megatron’s

“CALM DOWN!” said Optimius

“I’M JUST SO HORNY!” said Megatron

“I UNDERSTAND BUT THAT’S NO NEED FOR SUCH VULGAR LANGUAGE” said Optimus

Then they continued fucking until they both came

“WHY CAN’T IT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS? JUST US IN LOVE AND NOT FIGHTING!” said Megatron.

“BECAUSE YOU’RE A BIT OF A PRICK” said Optimus.


	24. Megatron/Minimus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for drug use?

Minimus was puffing a big cloud on his vaporizer

“Minimus, I didn’t know you SMOKED DANK WEED!” said Megatron.

“No, I just vape juice that smells like fucking maple syrup and makes everyone want to eat breakfast.” (A/N: I HAD A COWORKER WHO DID THIS AND WTF LAURA!)

“Oh… would you like to try this DANK WEED?” asks Megatron.

“with you, I would try anything” and then Mininus blushes because now Megatron knows how dripping wet he is for him.

“Well then! Forget the DANK WEED! Let’s fuck!”

“Ah, hell yeah!” and Minimus’ modesty panel shoots off and hits the wall.

Minimus has such perfect sex junk, it looks amazo.

Megatron get’s his face all up in that and he’s like motorboating his thighs or some shit. His glossa can get all up on the bussy and it’s just the best and Minimus is ruined for receiving head, no one will ever be as good as Megatron.

Megatron can fuckin’ suck his spike AND shove his glossa in Minimus’s valve! WTF! WHAT IS THAT! THAT’S NOT FAIR! SWERVE CAN’T DO THAT!

Minimus comes ALL OVER Megatron’s face ans thtroat and Megatron says something about how good Mins tastes and Minimus blushes and they kiss and there’s some line about “tastes himself on Megatron” because people seem to love that shit.

Then Megatron POUNDS THAT ASS

Minimus has some kinda black hole in his pusspuss or else this isn’t going to work. BUT IT WORKS AND THEY FUCK

IT FEELS SO AMAZO GOOD

They come together because they are in love.

The end.


	25. Whirl/Tailgate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell yeah!

Tailgate had gotten fed up with Cyclonus not picking up on his hints, such as sitting spread legged on the bed with his panels open.

If Cyclnous wouldn’t fuck him, he’d find someone else! He’d find Whirl!

TaILGATe found Whirl and said “LET’S SMASH!”

And Whirl said “Ah, hell yeah!!!” and hid spike spranfg to life right then

“I MEANT IN MY ROOM!” said Tailgate because they were at Swerve’s, not the best place/

They go to Tailgate’s room and Whirls spike spoings again andf Tailgate says “No I am saving this PUSSY for Cyclonus” and Whirl says “Okay” and opens his valve

Then Tailgate shows his disproportionately large spike and it’s just HUGE!

“Hell yeah” says Whirl who is so ready to feel all that spike in his valve.

But first Tailgate eats Whirl out with his like vacuum hell mouth. Trust me, it’s good. It’s really good and not scary.

Then Tailgate just POOUNDS THAT PUSS! He hits all them good nodes in the valve

When his explodes, the force of ALL THAT cUM just shoots whirl across the berth!

“Aw hell yeal!” says Whirl who also came because Tailgate’s dick was that good!

Then they cuddle.

Cyclonus could clean the room because he was the jerk who wasn’t participating in the first place.


	26. Megatron/Soundwave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for jorts

Megatron was feeling shameful because he wanted to get HARD DICKED but he was the leader of the decepticons so that was shameful or sometrhing. How could you possibly follow someone if they liked to get HARD DICKED?

“Soundwave I am so full of angst because I want the HARD DICK but that would make me weak!” said Megatron

Soundwave picked up Megatron in his arms and said “I wil;l provide the HARD DICK and also not think less of you!”

Soundwave lay Megatron down in a bed of roses and vvibrated his faceplate on Megatron’s crotch plate until Megatron creamed his jorts and had to remove his interface panel to let Soundwave get all up in there

Soundwave pressuxired his spike and lined up with Megatron’s weaping valve and started giving him the HARD DICK

Or hard spike, whjatever

Soundwave pounded into Megatron and Megatron was hitting his helmet agaiunst the headboard of the berth

It was a really nice headboard too. Like, it had fancy metal deocations and weaving and now it had a helmet dent in it and didn;’t look as good and the resale value was shot. THIS SIN’T GOOD LIFEPLANNING BEHAVIOR MEGATRON! YOUR KIDS WERE GOING TO INHERET THAT HEADBOARTD

Megatron overloaded with the “aaa!GH!!H!!!nfdsnfIKHI!!N!@! FKDN#($&#N~~~” and LIQUID EVERYWHERTE

Soundwave pulled out because Megatron was done but his spike was still HARD DICK

“Soundwave you didn’t finish! I need toy to jack off on my face riught nopw!” said Megatron!

Soundwave looked at Megatron’s hot freshely-fucked face and stroked his HARD DICK until he JIZZZEZE#SZX ojn the face and Megatron almost drowned in all the CUM buyt he was okay

“Thank you Soundwave my most loyal follower”

“also I love you”

“Let’s get married”

and Solundwabe and Megatron married


	27. Perceptor/Brainstorm

Brainstorm was alone in the lab thinking about how he wanted to get DICKED by Percewptor but Perceptor wasn’t there so instead he juist shoved a test tube in his vagruba.

(A/N: DO NOT SHOVE TEST TUBE IN VAGINA! MIGHT SHATTEWR!)

“THIS IS P{RETTY OKAY BUT NOT AS GOOD AS PERCEPTOR’S HGUGE COCK” said Brainstorm.

“What’s that about my HUGE COCK?” said Perceptor?

Brainstorm was embarrassed but got over it “I need you to come fuck this!” said Brainstorm pointing to his aft. Because that was where he wanted to be fucked. In the valve.

Perceptor produced his MASSIV E DONG and like jambed that thiong right in Brainstorm’s PUSSY and Brainstorm was like “YOU FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE TEST TUBE!”

So Perceptor pulled out and took out thre test tube and then they tried again and this time it worked like, WAY BETTER!

Perceptor fucked Brainstorm over the desk and nknocked over all the experiments and science because he was just fucking Brainstomr so HARD

Brainstorem was like :OHH!@@! AAH!! FEELS SO GOOD! IN MY VALV E!”

And Perceptor was “PLEASE DON’T SHOUT IS RUDE!”

So Brainstorm was more quiet to not disturb the neighbors :)

But he still loved it!!!

PercePTOR ker-splooshed in Brainsotmr and There was fluid EVERYONE and the lab had to be hosed down.

But Brainstorm didn;’t ker-splong so Percceptor decided to get his mouth all pover that sweet PUSY and just lalauulaaluuaal Brains’s valve and node and it like blinked with arousal lights and then Brainstorm SPLORTCHED all over Perceptor’s face and Perceptor had lubricants dripping all over his face and it was hot I guess.

Then they cuddled and loved each other very much ;u; !!


	28. Ratchet/Rodimus/Drift

Rodimus want to give a blowjob under a desk cause that’s a thing he’s just “yeah, please” about.

Drift doesn’t have a desk :(

Ratchet has a desk! :)

“This is stupid and I don’t sit at my desk for very long. And if anyone came to get me it would be an emergency and I’d have to leave. This is stupid, YOU’RE stupid!”

then Rodimus is sad because, what the fuck Ratchet, that’s your fucking boyfriend, be nice! “Okay, we can roleplay me being at a desk while you blow me”

“:D” says Rodimus.

So Rodimus is hiding under the desk and giving Ratchet like, amazo head and Ratchet is loving it with the “aaahh!!!” but Rodimus gets annoyed because he’s supposed to be being stealthy sneaky solid snake about this. So Ratchet is just “I guess I’m gonna be quiet while you suck my spike in an empty office?”

So they invite Drift and Drift and Ratchet have a conversation while Ratchet is getting the best of the oral sex.

“Like, do we talk about business? What am I supposed to be doing here?”

rodimus gets annoyed becvause why is everyone so bad at this? Drift and Ratchet need to talk while Ratchet tries to act like he’s not getting super good head. That’s it! It’s so easy!

Fuck this, both of you are terrible at covert operations. Instead they’ll just have to split roast Rodimus.

Now Roddy is bent over the desk and Drift is POUNDING that aft and Ratchet is still getting head because he was enjoying that. They all finish and it’s messy with all the fluids. Rodimus has to clean because it was his stupid idea. Haha, no Drift cleans.

They go to bed and Rodimus falls asleep and Ratchet and Drift talk about how great Rodimus is and that they love him. HAPPY END!


	29. Rodimus/Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER HAS TOOTING

SO after making public fools of themselves and doing a public sexy at the bar, Drift anf Rodimus decided they should go back to Drift’s room. (Not Rodimus’ room because he hasn’t cleaned it since thye started the voyage)

They go to Drift’s room and want to do extra more sexy times but they’ve been drinking. (this is a chekov’s gun where this will come back to play later. remember this!)

They do smooching and licking and groping and aree having just a fabulous time with declarartions of love. “Oh Rodimus, you’re so talented and bring iout the best of everyone” “Oh Drift, you went through such a dark time anjd came out shining and beautiful”

So emotion

But then Drift does a toot from his perfect juicy ass. “Did you poot?” asks Rodimus and Drift says “Uh, no?” and they keep doing many kiss

Then Rodimus makes a toot and Drift says “You pooted!”

Then they laugh too much to remmeber to have sex. And they laugh so hard that there is more tootin’ and pootin’ 

Do robots have exhaujst clouds with their pooting? I need to know this. It’s impoirtant. 

So there’s like an exhaust fart cloud around them. But they finally rmemeber to sex and Rodimus bottoms this time because ArianaGrandeItsEquality.gif


	30. Grimlock/Swoop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimlock does an online dating.

Grimlock was on a grindr lookig for the masc4masc “I hope beefy dudes want to get with this” Grimlcokm said wistfully.

He then got a message from the internet and it said “hi lol”

So Grimlock said “sup?”

Then the internet said “nm u?”

And the Grimlock said “chilling”

The internet said “cool”

then the inetenet said “im horny”

and Grimlock said “me 2”

“want 2 meet up?” said internet

“k”

So Grimlock went outside and Grimlock saw the internet but the internet wasn't a masc! He was at wink!

“My profile said masc4masdc!” said Grimlock

“I know. I just ignored it.” Said Swoop.

And that was the single most masc thing that Grimlock had heard of so he decided to make an exception even though he really liked them muscle men.

“Readdy to get spiked?” said Swoop

“My profile said I'm a top!” said Grimlock

“I know. I just ignored it.”

Grimlock wasnt sure how long he could keep his MASSIVE BONER contained if this twink kept mascing like this!

“We must fuck” said Grtimlock

“Bend over and oven the panels”

Grimlock braced himself against the door to his house and opened his panekl. Swwop stuck is AVERAGE SIZED DONG in Grimlocks TIGHT HOLE

Grimlock did the “oh-oh-oh it's magic!” and Swoop did the “grunt grunt”

Swoop made splotch in Grimlock's coochie and Grimlock coochie did a plotch on Swoop

Grimlock then ediedieted his profile to say “mostly masc4masc” and “mostly top”


	31. Springer/First Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boops

Springer was boobing boobily down the street whjren First Aid saw him and was like “wow the big milk!”

First Aid stopped him and said “Oh Em Gee you're a wrecker right? And also Springer? And Also tits?”

Springer laughed and his badonkers boobed. “Yes, I'm Springer” his voice was like boob.

First Aid blushed and waved his arms around “I'm a big fan!!! Can you sign my face?!”

Springer titted First Aid's face up “I can do better. I can kiss yourf face.”

Even though Springer was tilting First Aid's face up to meet his face, there was just too much BREAST MEAT in the way and all Thirsty Firsty could see was TIT. It was the greatest day of his life.

“YES SMOOCHE MY FACE PLEASE!” said First Aid

So Springer kissied First Aid's face with his plump lips that where less plump than his PECS

First Aid felt so many emotions that wrren't breasts but most of them were breast. “Can we also doa sideways twister?” said First Aid who was feeling boo- bold.

“Hmm” Springer hmmed. “Yeah okay.” He smiled and his sweater kittens glistened in the sun.

They went to a clean back alley and First Aid presented his aft but then realized he could see Springer's boppers liked that so he turned around to face the tit. Springer was very friendly and accomodating so he figured ouyt how to lift First Aid against the wall so the red mech could face him while they did one sex.

The sex was meh but Springer's RIGHTEOUS PEC MEAT was AMAZO.

“Can I ciome on your tits”? Asked First Aid

Springer sighed because everyone wanted to come on his tits but it was fine. It was whatever. Sure come on his tits like everyone else. :\

First Aid SPLARTCH on the tits and Springer sighed deeply because he was going to be the one to clean this up. The Springer SPLOOTs

“Let me clean you breast” said FA and Springer was so touched because no one had ever offered to help clean and now the triple changed was smitten by the double changer.

Really, Thirst Aid just wanted to touch more of Springer sweater hogans.

 


	32. Soundwave/Cosmos

Cosmos was ALONE and SAD in space. Also horny. Remember this, it's a Chekov's gun and will come back later on in the story.

“Why am I being sad andb alone in space when I could go over to my boyfriend's utopia colony?” Cosmos was also horny. IMPORTANT!

Cosmos went to Soundwaver;s utopia space colony in space. Soundwave was trying to put oxygen in the station because he wanted elephants. (this is not important, you can forget about it.)

“Cosmos sad” Soundwave said with stoic.

Cosmos tried to forc e a smile but couldn't because he didn't hjave a mouth. “I just wanted to see you and not be alone.”

Sounbdwave looked at him then said bluntly “Are you horny?” (SEE! IT WAS IMPORTANT!)

“A little!?” said Cosmos who was shocked by how blunt Soundwave was but also he was downplaying how horny he was because if not for social standards he would have been humping the walls. The walls were looking very sexy.

“You could just ask.” said Soundwave who was still trying to oxygen.

“Will you please frag me into the mattress?” asked Cosmos

“In a minute” Soundwave was elephant busy.

Cosmos went to Soundwave's room and waiting for the tape deck... or car... or jet... whatever he transformed into these days. Soon Soundwave showed up “Okay, let's sex now” he said with sexy stoic.

Cosmoz and Soundwave did the sexy position where Soundwave had one leg up and his hips just gyrated while staying perfectly still otherwise. Cosmos twerked. It was the good sex.

“Thank you for goods sexy with me” said Cosmos

“Of course. I love you”

Then they conjux endura'd and also got oxygen in the space station so they could have elephats. Unicron couldn't get into the space colony because it had a protective love shield that kept him out.

GOOD END

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a twist! I said the elephants weren't important but they were there at the end!


	33. Thunderclash/Springer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not proper post-coma procedure

Springer was in a coma and in the hospital and Thunderclash was in a coma and in the hospital. But then Springer got out of his coma and walked around and saw Thunderclash and he thought “wow! It's thunderclash he's the most famous!”

Then Thunderclash woke up from his coma and he say Springer and he said “what a vision of beauty I must be dead and this is an angel”

Springer did an uguu blushie and daid “You are not dead we are just in a hospital because of commas”

Thunderclash nodded because he did spend most of his time in a coma so that made more sense then him being dead.

“Your not so bad yourself, big guy” said Springer

“What?” Thunderclash forgot about the earlier flirting because he was trying to remember what caused his coma this time.

“you called me beautiful?” Springer flailed in embarresmented “forget I said anything!”

Thunderclash decided that whatver caused his coma was less important than thundersmashing this handsome helicopter-tank-man.

“Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll see what comes up ;)” said thunderclash flirtifying.

Springer never bottomed before but figured it couldn't hurt. Except his valve. It could hurt his valve. “Please be gentile” he said with blushing.

So Springer got on top of Thunderclash and their panels opened or came off depending on reader preference. Then Thunderclash stuck his thingy inside Springer's you-know-what and they did a sex.

“wowowowowo This is great.” said Springer.

“ahahahaha” said Thunderclash

Then they came and the FLUIDS EVERYWHERE THE FLUIDS SO MANY FLUIDS STOP ASKING ME TO INCLUDE MORE FLUIDS THIS IS DISGUSTING!

Then they both fell back into comas because they should not have been doing such rigorous activity so soon.

Pharma walked in to audience applause. “Why does this keep happening?!” he said exasperated. Then he paged some one “First Aid, we have a code off-white”

 


	34. Rodimus/Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game of jocks

Rodimus and Drift were playing football but like they were both playing different footballs so Rodimus was playing American football and Drift was playing everywhere-else football.

It wasn't going well.

“You can't put your hands on the ball, you dumbass!” yelled Drift at Rodimus.

“How am I supposed to carry it to the goal then!?” said Rodimus

“You kick it!”

“The goal is way too high for kicking!”

“I was wondering about that, why IS the goal so high and not a net?”

Rodimus threw the black-and-white ball to the ground. “Touchdown! I win!”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” said Drift. Drift grabbed his helm in frustration. “Whatever, sports are for nerds anyway. Let's play Mario Tennis!”

Rodimus put on a shirt and then dramatically ripped his shirt off “YEAH! I LOVE MARIO TENNIS!”

The probably with Mario Tennis is that it was just too erotic. How was anyone supposed to look at the powerful spikes of Bowser and not get a RAGIN BONER? How do you gaze upon the elegant limbs of Waluigi and not start dripping immediately? How Birdo?

Rodimus was losing badly because he was distracted by Wario's FAT ASS “This game is too hard! Like me! I am also hard!”

Drift couldn't hear Rodimus over his raging lust for Dry Bones. “God, I could go for some dry bones right now if you know what I mean.”

“Do you think we could like, have a quick fuck while also still playing this game?” asked Rodimus.

“Dude! I hope so!” Drift got on top of Rodimus and faced the TV so he could still see the well defined calf-meat of Mario. He did all the work, bouncing his fat-but-less-fat-than-Wario ass, which made his view of the screen bounce so now he was doing worse.

It was even though, Rodimus now had a bouncing Drift in his lap obscuring him from Donkey Kong's ankles.

Who would win? Bouncing Drift or Blind Rodimus?

Just as the announcer cried “Match point!” Drift and Rodimus came! Their fluids slightly obscuring the screen. No, just Drift's fluids, Rodimus' fluids went into Drift...

Drift won. Rodimus was trash at this game.

 


	35. Overlord/Froid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fisting!

Overlord and Froid were one day in a psyche lab typing on the computers.

Froid got an email from his supervisors that said that a chemical spilled out and now everyone was horny. Either partner up or wank it out. It would pass.

“Auck! This is inconvenient!” Forid said in a Space Austrian accent. He turned to Overlord “If you want to have a go at it, let me know. I can also just masterbate”

Overlord laughed heartily “You think I would ever not be up for fucking? I will absolutely do the nasty with you.”

It was true, Overlord was the yiffiest mech Froid had hever met. “Gotta say, you're not making me feel special.”

Overlord rolled his eyes “Look, you just wanna get with this because of the horny chemical. I know I have the plump lips of a god and not the giant horse teeth that really drive you wild”

Froid felt all hot and flustered thinking about horse teeth. “Th-that isn't true! I like normal things! Like... Fisting!”

Was fisting normal? Where did it fall on the kink list? Low, right? Definitely low. Froid wasn't weird. He liked normal things.

“You like fisting?” Overlord laughed. His kinks were not normal. He liked elbow licking and being watched by inflatable llamas. “Bend over then. Let's see if you can take this massive fist!”

Overlord showed off his over fist which was probably bigger than his spike and Froid was deffos making a bad decision here. Still Froid salivated through his ball-gag-mouth.

“Yeah, fuck up my robussy” he muttered.

Froid bent over a desak. His thin valve lips barely wet in anticipation. Look, he was old, he didn't lubricate like he used to. Cut him some slack!

Overload eagerly fisted the mohawked madmad. It was a difficult process since there was so little lubricant. No one was in pain, it was just like, Froid was occassionally stuck to Overlord's fist and it was hard to get him off and Overlord had like, a Froid puppet.

They did eventually get things sorted out by using a jar of science for extrsa lube. Nice and smooth.

“OH! OH! OH!” Ohed Froid. “Just a little more.”

With some expert wrist work, Overload got Froid to overlord.

“Nopw it's my turn” said Overlord with a grin.

Overlord bent over a desk because there were a lot of desks for bending over because they were in a lab. “Fist MY robussy!”

Froid's fist wasn't really big enough to help Overlrodf out but he tried. Eventually Overlord got frustrated and just fisted himself.

Froid went back to work while he waioted for Ovrld to finish.

FLUIDS EVERYWHERE SO MUCH! AND MANY!

“Felling better?” Froid asked.

Overlord shrugged “Yeah, I guess.”

And they both went back to work because this was a work place!

 


	36. Riptide/First Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are shiddie fardies in this :(

First Aid and Riptide were on a space boat with coma Thunderckerash.

Riptide held his stomach and said “I don't feel good?”

First Aid kissed his forehead. “Do you need to toot or poot?”

Riptide shook his head. “I tried tooting and pooting but the pain is still here.”

“Hmm” First Aid though. “Do you need to shid or fard?”

Riptide's eyes brightened “Yes! That's the problem!”

“Then go to the lavatory and deal with it?”

Riptibde misheard First Aid so he went to the laboratory and shid.

“Why would I tell you to shid in the laboratory?!” asked First Aid.

“I dunno! I just didn't want to disappoint you!” Riptide sniffled

First Aid couldn't stay mad at Riptide and gave him another kiss on the cheek. His face cheek. “I forgive you. We'll probably just blow up this ship in a bit anyway.”

But Thunderclash was in coma in the lab and when he woke up there was a Riptide shid and Thunderclash was like “ew”

 


	37. Rodimus and Chromedome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains CDRW and limb removal sorta

Chromedome and Rodimus were in the medbay each missing an arm.

“Oh look, you are also missing an arm” said Chromedome to Rodimus laughing slightly.

“Yeah... It was an accident?” said Rodimus

“Same” saod Chromedome. “rewind and I were doing... things and my arm fell off?”

“Really? Me and [Rodimus boyfriend of choice] were doing thing and my arm also fell off!”

“How funny that our arms fell off! Wild!” said Chromedome. Both partying tried hard to deny the obvious.

The doctor (who is not named in case that if your Rodimus boyfriend of choice) examined the pair and gave thgem new arms. “You are cured!” they said.

Rodimus leaned in real close to Chromedome/ “You have a kink for having your arm torn off? Right?”

Chromedome coughed even though he was a robot and didn't couch. “Yeah.”

“Good. I wanted to make sure that we both had this kink.”

“Why?”

“Maybe now we can trade advice on how to safewly remove the aerm? Or maybe Rewind can talk to [Rodimus boyfriend of choise] about removing arms?” Rodimus said

Chromedome smiled behind the mask “maybe!”

BUT THEN! IN A SHOCKING TWIST!

Rewind and [Rodimus boyfriend of choice] ended up dating and Chrome and Rodimus sought each other for rebound but they were happy together.

Be cause those who kink together fall in love. Always look for your kink partner.

 


End file.
